Comedy Worldwide, Funny Jokes

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Chicken Jokes
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn’t evolved yet
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the light turned green
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
What do you get if you cross a chicken and a poodle?
Pooched eggs
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and then cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser
Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because he was a chicken
Why did the fox cross the road?
To look for the chicken
Why did the chicken run across the road?
To get to the other side faster
Knock-knock Jokes
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Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Beets
Beets who?
Beets me
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Sarah
Sarah who?
Sarah reason you’re not opening the door?
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Juno
Juno who
Juno I’m out here right?
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe come out and play?
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Cows
Cows who?
Cows go “moo” not “who”!
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Woo
Woo who?
No need to get upset, it’s just a joke
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Steve Evans
Steve Evans who?
You’ve forgotten me already?
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Isabelle
Isabelle who?
Isabelle necessary on a bicycle
Blonde Jokes
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Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s white-out on the screen
How did the blonde break her leg raking trees?
She fell out of the tree
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
How does a blonde spell “farm”?
E-I-E-I-O
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Why don’t blondes make ice-cubes?
They can’t remember the recipe
Why did the blonde ask for some burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for her darkroom
Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet?
To feed the toilet duck
Yo Mama Jokes
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Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it’s over for everybody!
Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades!
Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet!
Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her!
Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!
Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away!
Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!
Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class!
Yo mama is so old that the candles cost more than her birthday cake!
Yo mama is so old her social security number is 1!
Doctor, Doctor Jokes
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“Doctor, Doctor, can I have a second opinion?”
“Sure, come back tomorrow”
“Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards”
“I’ll deal with you later”
“Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pog”
“How long have you been feeling like this?”
“Oh, about a weeeeeeeeeek”
“Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a spoon”
“Sit there and don’t stir”
“Doctor, Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears”
“Don’t answer!”
“Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses”
“You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop”
“Doctor, Doctor, I’m boiling up”
“Just simmer down”
“Doctor, Doctor, I snore so loud I keep myself awake”
“Then sleep in another room!”
“Doctor, Doctor, I think can’t get to sleep”
“Sit on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off”
“Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me”
“Next please!”

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